“Notre Dame Football Breaks Up with Wolverines in Dear John Letter, Cites Religious Reasons” And Other Jokes (That May Involve Replacement Refs) From Last Night

– After passing a note to University of Michigan AD Dave Brandon before Saturday’s beatdown, Notre Dame announced that it was opting out of their 35-year-long rivalry, as a result of their new relationship with the ACC. Michigan seemed distraught and listless following the announcement, and it appeared that the campus hadn’t shaved in days. When asked  for a statement, Michigan just sighed and said, “It’s been something we knew might happen, but it’s good. We’re doing okay. We’ve started working on ourselves, jogging, you know. Maybe learn Spanish. This is a time to work on us,” before what appeared to be tears fell on campus. As always, we’ll have more as this story develops here at PPC HQ.

– With an almost Glenn Beck-ian level of disregard for the facts, the NFL has released a statement in support of Monday Night’s decision. According to the statement, the NFL believes that given the video evidence and the call on the field, the replacement referees were correct in their decision to award a touchdown to Seattle WR Golden Tate. Additionally, the league officially states that Tate should have been called for offensive pass interference, and several executives within the organization were very clear to state that the call on the field was not necessarily correct to begin with. So, basically, what the NFL is saying is: this was a bad call, but our instant replay rules don’t allow us to fix bad calls. Awesome.

– Finally, in well-this-kind-of-makes-up-for-last-year, the Atlanta Braves have clinched a wild-card game berth with a walk-off home run by 1B Freddie Freeman. This serves as retribution for a team that had the second biggest collapse in the history of baseball, being caught up to and overrun by the eventual World Series champion St. Louis Cardinals after leading the WC by 7.5 games at the beginning of September. Normally, we’d make a joke here, but PPC’s favorite team is the Boston Red Sox, so we should probably just keep our mouths shut.


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